bekstek:

mintike:

IM GOING TO STAB MYSELF IN THE FOOT I JUST SENT MY ENGLISH TEACHER MY ESSAY ON HAMLET AND IT WAS STILL NAMED “the fresh prince of denmark yo holla”

oh man, i love receiving unedited final drafts:

image

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cracks me up every time

littlestpetdjpinkie:

When people with bad grammar try to insult you like

image

folieaboo:

pro tip: don’t name your fish after band members because one time my dad called me to tell me gerard died and i started crying

c-will-run:

Nuggets of gold in 140 characters or less.

Going back to school in September

jayma-jones:

Teacher - did you do anything nice during Summer?

Me - oh yeah, I went to L.A, New York, Miami and did a bunch of photoshootsimage

thatweirdcanadian:

myocardiac:

i couldnt find my headphones and its late at night
solution: get a stethoscope and put it up to the speaker with the computer on low volume

if i cant find my headphones what makes you think im going to find a stethoscope just lying around

thatweirdcanadian:

myocardiac:

i couldnt find my headphones and its late at night

solution: get a stethoscope and put it up to the speaker with the computer on low volume

if i cant find my headphones what makes you think im going to find a stethoscope just lying around

urbancatfitters:

hyperbole is my favorite literary device i use it like 600 times a day

me watching titanic: maybe it wont hit the iceberg this time
this is Monica watching titanic every time ^^
why would you comment in a chat post like what is wrong with you

gnarly:

circumcising:

what did people even wear in 2008

apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur 

rneerkat:

an sentence like this makes me feel uncomfortable

macintush:

"It’s pronounced like jif"

Yeah well I don’t gif a fuck